Conventional wisdom tells us that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It also delivers a further disturbing homily: out of sight, out of mind. So how ought one keep long distance relationships going? Do you trust that the distance will add to your love? Or do you work out ways and means to ensure the relationship wont die and deteriorate? The challenge nowadays is particularly severe. As more and more young men and women are working in far-away places, away from each other. The traditional way to connect to each other by loving touches, caresses or cuddling are not there.
Additionally, absent are opportunities to spend quality time in each others company as well as in the company of friends and relatives and acquaintances. What about conflicts and arguments? These, in their own way, strengthen relationships and can make them more fulfilling. If your are apart, then it is extremely difficult to resolve these in a nurturing way. So how do long distance couples maintain their relationships and keep on going? One way is to bring your partner near to you by placing their photograph on your desk, kitchen counter and in the bedroom. This will remind you of your companion all the time.
You should also regularly update your common acquaintances with your partner and not allow him or her go out of your social loop. This will help maintain the picture of your partner constantly fresh in your mind. Use e-mail, chat and voice mail to stay in constant touch with your partner. This communication need not be limited to How much I miss you and love you line but to real discussions concerning day to day issues.
You furthermore have to work out who will take care of kids. The choice ought to be based on practicality, and not on customary arguments that the mother ought to bring up the child. Yes, the mother is most suitable to bring up a child. But if she is working in a place where there are no decent schools then it is the father who has to accept this responsibility. So, even if you are separated, your problems are the same as any couple, and you should still try to resolve them together as a team. Try and be with each other on at least one occasion a month or once a quarter depending upon the circumstances.
Also do not insist that only your partner ought to travel. You also must take time off your agenda and visit your partner as well. Allow there to be a healthy and common respect for each others work. Only then will your relationship endure across the long distance. Thought it is tough to thrive in this type of situation, a strong trusting relationship will endure this.
In the end the hardships faced as a team can be a really positive long term binding effect for the future of the relationship.
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