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The quiet victims of divorce- the children

When people start a new relationship, it is as though Cinderella and her Prince stepped out of that childhood story. A more realistic way to look at it is to think of it as two people who are running for office, campaigning to be in the other person's life. Forget that it is not who they will be later in life.

We are too busy getting the other person to "choose us" so we can live happily ever after. There is, bad habits early on in the relationship we never see. For instance, leaving dirty clothes scattered, drinking directly out of the juice carton, putting a dirty knife back in the drawer and watching from around the corner as they lick it clean, washing is too much effort. Both sides hide their bad habits when they begin dating, because they are too busy running for the highest office in the country, ultimately the office of marriage and parenthood.

This fantasy life fades as people grow together in a relationship. Unfortunately, about sixty percent grow apart during the marriage. When the marriage ends, it is like a house set on fire.

All desired hopes, dreams and commitment cherished by both sides, up in smoke. But, we forget that the child of this relationship has yet to lay the foundation of their lives. Divorce on any level, is devastating. For children, their warm, safe world is suddenly shattered like a broken toy, in many pieces. When parents begin to divorce, do they really stop and think about the children? All too often, the children fall under the invisible heading of "power base" or worse yet, "negotiable".

A child's life during a divorce is like a roller coaster, going up minute and down the next. Parents are keeping score of their child's affection as though they were at a sporting event. Both parents fear losing ground as though their competition, the other parent, chips away at their own individual "power base". This is an automatic reaction during a divorce. If only parents would stop for a moment and realize, that children have unconditional love for each of them. Children were not beamed down from space to earth.

They were conceived and brought into this world with the greatest expectations, and most of all love. By two people, the child calls mother and father. These two people have forgotten that being a parent, role model and teacher, means not putting down the other.

Or using the children to emotionally beat up the "competition". Because, being a parent is a privilege! A divorce is like a funeral. Of course, there is no casket or service. But the process is the same.

"Funeral" services begin when the parties enter their lawyers office, (I call them legal funeral representatives) they help prepare for the death of their clients marriage. The lawyers seek out personal, confidential information about you, only to file it in a public record for the world to see. Attached to this public record filing is a detailed financial description, (yours) of personal property and assets acquired during the marriage. Somewhere between page 11 or 15 of the divorce agreement, your children are listed, like an asset, by name and age.

And on yet another page, you will find the "children", stating who gets custody when, on what days, with specific times and for how long. Cannot forget the holiday schedules, this appears on yet another page of the divorce decree. This page looks more like a major event schedule, trading odd and even years off during the holidays. If parents would think for a moment and get off their "power base", they should be able to work out these very private details among themselves. Months, and in some cases years later a judge, who I refer to as the coroner (no disrespect intended) sit before these strangers, in a court of law, with people who once vowed to love, honor and cherish each other all the days of their lives, ask if all parties are in agreement, with the tap of his gavel, signs the death certificate (known more commonly as the divorce decree. I for one think this process is a crime.

We allow total strangers to settle our once very happy lives. The greater crime, however, is the children, divided up among the parents like a piece of property. They are the "Voiceless Victims." Also people may have questions regarding your auction. So you could get an email asking about your product or service.

You should welcome this opportunity as a way to show your potential bidder you are a real person. Take this time to show your integrity, honesty, credibility, and expertise in your product or service. Include on your auction page an email link and tell your visitors that any inquires are welcome. What About A Guarantee? You always need some sort of guarantee for your product or service. Again it will help to show your visitor you are a trustworthy business person.

Remember that your buyer assumes most of the risk here. He/she is buying from someone that they have never met, a product that they have only seen in a photo, and they must pay for that product in advance of receiving it. A guarantee that is appropriate for your product or service will help your visitor become a bidder.

How Do I Pay? The more options you have for payment the more visitors will become bidders. There are many means of payment. The normal being PayPal. PayPal is an eBay company so having a PayPal payment button on your auction is an easy and free option to include on your auction sales page.

But besides PayPal you may want to consider excepting other payment options as well. What About Delivery? Always fully disclose how your product or service is delivered and your delivery charge. Whether you are sending it via the postal service or a courier your bidder will want to know how he/she should expect to receive the purchase and what the cost will be. You can usually approximate deliver time and cost based on information you obtain from your local post office or courier.

If you answer the above questions on your auction page you will be building customer trust and he/she is more likely to become a bidder. And more bidders' means more profits for you!.

Did you find this article useful? For more useful tips, hints, points to ponder and keep in mind, techniques, and insights pertaining to guides on divorce, do please browse for more information at our websites. www.infozabout.com'www.infozabout.com www.divorce.infozabout.com



The quiet victims of divorce- the children.


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